Growing your own food organically is one of the only ways to assure that food is chemical free. As far as I know, there are no FDA regulations in place for “organically grown” fresh vegetables. I am a newbie to the organically grown concept. My family makes fun of hippie-grown food, scoffing at how organic food is more toxic than store-bought produce.
All of my siblings live in Southern California, but they have been visiting Bainbridge Island a lot lately, as my Mother is terminally ill with ovarian cancer. The cancer has metastasized and is in her cervix, and she is most likely nearing the end of her life within weeks.
Cancer is a rollercoaster. Several times she has been so near death I could hear angel wings flutter. Then, she bounces back and looks chipper. I pray for her every time that she eats; pray that the food goes down easily, stays down and doesn’t cause pain moving through her cancer-wracked body. I pray that she is comfortable and is spared the painful end that is associated with cervical cancer. When she is doing well, every day, hour, minute, I wait for the other shoe to drop. On the bad days, we both pray that it will end.
Feeding Mom has been a chore since early diagnosis. She had trouble processing food. The only thing that Mom can eat and digest easily are eggs…the perfect food. Mom tells me she has a constant taste in her mouth…saccharine. (Sugar substitute) I took this report from her quite seriously and began to analyze all foods for chemicals. This was the turning point for me…we were going to designate Manzanita Community Gardens as 100% organic. After much research and close observation of my Mother’s decline, I am convinced that eating organically makes a difference in good health. I can’t change what is happening to my Mother, but I can grow organic food.
At this crossroad, I created a list of “rules and regulations” for Manzanita Community Gardens– no chemicals, pesticides, poisons or toxic substances. Community Gardeners agreed to communicate and help each other with slug control, cut-worms, rodents, and come up with organic – and humane solutions to gardening challenges.
Another way I was coping with my Mom’s decline was by rescuing a horse from the feedlot.
Feedlot horses are sent to Canada for slaughter. By saving a mare, I was clinging to life. I’ve had horses in the past, and knew what to do. I cleaned out the shed where the hay was to be stored, and unearthed a colony of mice. I made a mental note to bring the family cat out the shed for a few days before the first hay delivery to deal with the mouse problem.
My Mother’s birthday approached, the family convened en-mass to celebrate a milestone that was not supposed to occur. Mom has exceeded her due-date. We have much to be grateful for. My contribution was going to be a home-grown salad, using freshly harvested organic lettuce. I went to my p-patch to harvest, and noticed an open box in the neighboring p-patch. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was an open, consumed box of mouse poison…with warnings all over the box “Toxic for humans and animals”. 
Needless to say, I did not harvest the lettuce and feed it to my family. Although the mouse poison was 10 feet from my lettuce, poisoned mice droppings are toxic, as are the caucuses of the mice. I no longer felt comfortable eating the food I had grown, much less serving it at a family function. The words of my family haunted me…organically home-grown food was more toxic than store-bought.
My mother is still struggling day-to-day for relief from cancer. One thing that she complains about is the bad taste in her mouth that is like saccharine. Creating organic gardens and saving the feedlot mare was my coping mechanism to separate myself from her pain. For now, there is no separation. It’s time to go back to her and hold her hand. In the end, we all die.








